Past does not define you; Only your understanding of it!

🌈 1301 – Saturday, 18 January 2025 23:56

Hyderabad

What a day it was! One of those days where I felt so out of place, like I didn’t know what to do with myself. Uncomfortable, unsure, and just… oh dear! But even so, I feel like I need to write it down, for myself, to look back on one day. Maybe then, I’ll understand why it felt so challenging. After all, no one else would really know—only I lived through it.

The day started late—or maybe I should say the night ended late. I didn’t get to bed until about 1:30 AM. I’ve been busy taking care of my parents, especially my mother. She’s feeling a little better these days, but not fully okay. In just a few days, she’ll have her fourth round of chemotherapy. The side effects are so tough on her, but Dad and I are doing everything we can to keep her spirits up, trying to make her laugh and smile despite it all.

Around 3:20 AM, I woke up and went to check on her. She was awake too. She told me that Dad had just checked on her as well and that she was okay. She even told me to rest properly. So I wished her goodnight and went back to bed. The next thing I knew, it was 9:34 AM. I came out of my room, and there were Dad and Mum already up. Dad greeted me with a cheerful “Good morning” as he had his breakfast, and Mum was nearby too.

After I prayed Fajr, I joined them for breakfast—”bonda and wada.” The sun was shining brightly, but the weather was mild and cool, just perfect. The morning passed smoothly, and Dad and I decided to spend some time tidying up our penthouse on the fourth floor. This flat is special—it was built a couple of years ago, and Dad gifted it to me. He’s already furnished it with everything I’d need: a bed, a desk, and even a computer setup. It’s there for me to live in if I ever decide to move back home or just stay longer during visits.

At 1:30 PM, I prayed Zohr and received a text from my nephew Dan and my sister, asking if I’d like to visit them and see little Hamd, my brother’s son, at his maternal grandparents’ house. I thought about it for a moment. Mum encouraged me to go, but Dad was more neutral, leaving the decision up to me. After sitting with my thoughts, I realized I didn’t feel like going. I wanted to see my nephew, sure, but I wasn’t comfortable going to their house without a proper invitation. It just didn’t sit right with me. So, I decided not to go, and I felt okay about it. Later, Dad quietly mentioned that it was fine I chose not to go, and my brother reassured me as well, promising to bring Hamd to visit me when he’s back next week.

In the late afternoon, Dad and I went out on his motorbike to drop off some clothes at the local tailor. On the way back, we talked a bit more about the day. It felt good to know Dad understood my choice.

Later, around 5:30 PM, I got a message from an old university friend, Rahul. He’s in town too, visiting Hyderabad, and wanted to catch up. I told him about Mum’s health and explained I couldn’t be away from home for long, so he offered to come by with his 9-year-old son. He said he’d arrive around 6:30 PM, but he didn’t make it until 7:40 PM. I spent the extra time catching up on some work while I waited.

When he arrived, Mum and Dad came out to greet him, and we all spent some time chatting. I saw his son for the second time—it was nice to see them together. Rahul and I reminisced about our time at university. He had gone to Australia while I went to the UK. Now, years later, life has given us each a different path. He’s happy, fulfilled, and proud of his son.

As we talked, I couldn’t help but reflect on my own life. Rahul seems to have found his purpose—raising his son, building a life he’s content with. And me? I’m still searching, still figuring it all out. Maybe one day I’ll find that sense of purpose too, something that feels like it’s meant for me. For now, though, I’ll carry on, taking each day as it comes.

And that was my day—a mix of care, reflection, and unexpected connections.

Around the rest of the world today –

• Today Russian forces launched a combined drone and missile attack on Kyiv, resulting in the deaths of at least four individuals and causing significant damage to civilian infrastructure, including a shopping mall and metro station. (AP News)
• In the Middle East, a ceasefire agreement between Israel and Hamas was set to commence at 8:30 a.m. local time on Sunday, January 19, 2025, following mediation efforts, aiming to halt hostilities and facilitate humanitarian aid into Gaza.
• The agreement involves the release of 33 hostages held by Hamas, including British citizen Emily Damari, in exchange for nearly 2,000 Palestinian prisoners. The ceasefire aims to de-escalate violence and provide humanitarian aid to Gaza.

3 things I felt grateful for today –

• Grateful for the pleasant warmth of Hyderabad’s weather.

• Grateful for the ability to stay connected with the world, even from right here.

• Grateful for the precious moments spent with family.

What would it take for you and me to wake up tomorrow feeling ten times more energized, confident, and happy? To start the day with gratitude, wake up early, a morning workout, and feel a sense of peace with family, friends, and everyone around us. Imagine a day that’s relaxing, relaxing, relaxing yet productive, where everything aligns just right—wouldn’t that be amazing?

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Goodnight, good luck!

Ash Khaleem