Don’t quit on God. No matter how hard it gets!

🌈 1277 – Saturday, 21 September 2024 23:36

London

I just came across a page in an old notebook. I had torn it out because it was the only thing nearby, and I had no tissues around. It turns out there’s something written on it—clearly by me—but I can’t make out what I wrote. I’m also wondering why, on that particular day, I decided to write everything upside down.

I came across a list of tasks that need to be completed and took a moment to check in with myself: Were all these things finished? If not, have the goals changed or evolved? If they’re still undone, maybe I’ve been drawn back to this list for a reason, and it should now be my top priority. Fortunately, the first item on the list is “Blog,” so here I am! I hope you’re doing well, and enjoying your weekend.

I finally managed to decipher most of the writing, and the list appears to be the goals I had set for that day or period of time. If I remember correctly, it must have been around 2020, as one of the tasks relates to something I was working on just before COVID hit.

• Blog

• Amazon

• Psyco Website

• Pappa Dua

• Personnel Policy

• (Cannot figure this out) – Could be product costing related to the Amazon product research or broadband costing I remember I was researching on changing the suppliers.

• Love of Faith

Thankfully, the blog is still going strong to this day. I do miss writing some days, but I enjoy the feeling of returning to it, with the freedom to fill the empty pages with thoughts that go beyond the day-to-day and explore something different.

In 2020, after extensive research, I completed the Amazon project. I found a leather duffle backpack supplier from China on Alibaba and customized the design by adding an extra back pocket and a linen lining. I then branded the bags with “RHK” and ordered 50 units at around £14.98 each. Once they were manufactured, I arranged delivery from China to Amazon’s warehouse in the USA, where Amazon handled fulfilment and delivery.

I opened an Amazon Seller Central account in January 2020 (£40/month), created the listing, and went live just before the UK went into COVID lockdown in February. Although it’s not an excuse, no one used backpacks or left home for the next two years. In the first two months, I sold 6 out of 50 units for £38.98 (no idea why I chose that price). After six months, I faced monthly Amazon storage fees of around £12, and long-term storage fees were set to kick in, along with Seller Central and Fulfillment by Amazon charges. With no sales during the pandemic, I halved the price and sold all the remaining units to my brother, delivering them to the Middle East. I figured it was easier for Amazon to handle delivery, but only about 20 bags made it— the rest were lost in transit, likely ending up on the black market. A big lesson learned.

The third item on the list was “Psyco website,” which referred to my interest in psychology and psychotherapy. For a long time, I felt drawn to learn about psychology. My second roommate in London, an Ecuadorian going through a midlife crisis, and I would have long talks, where I found myself motivating him without even realizing it. He often told me I had a natural gift for it and should pursue the field. Similarly, a few years ago, my trainer, who was heartbroken after a breakup, would look forward to our sessions, saying I was like his therapist. We’d laugh about silly things, which helped him forget his pain. These experiences, along with constant signs like courses coming my way and conversations about personal growth, made me feel more connected to self-help and personal development. I wanted to find a way to add value to others’ lives. Last year, in September, I finally began my studies, and today, on September 21, 2024, I’ve completed my Level 5 (degree level) in Psychotherapy. My next step is to register with the NCIP (National Council of Integrated Psychotherapists) and create a website soon.

“Pappa dua” – When my dad went to Mecca, someone gave him a list of Ayahs (verses) from the Quran, along with the number of times to recite each one as a personal revelation. He shared it with all of us, and we made photocopies. I’ve been reading it at least once a week. The photocopy sits beneath a white pad, a gift from my loving dad, under my laptop. Thank you, Pappa. May God give me, my dear bro and sis the strength and time to read it regularly and, one day, pass it on to future generations.

The next item on the list is about my previous role, where I had to attend large monthly meetings. Initially, they made no sense to me, so I memorized the entire policy to grasp the terminology. I only needed to memorize the first two main pages, and that was enough to get by in the meetings. Even though I’ve moved on from that role, I can still recall the policy to this day.

The next one on the list, I cannot figure out right now, I’m going for the next sign.

The next item on the list is “Love of Faith.” It reminds me of the importance of holding onto hope, no matter how difficult things get. Whether you call it God, the spirit, or a higher power, trust that things will work out, even if you don’t always feel that way. Everyone tends to think their problems are the biggest, and I did too. For a while, I questioned why things weren’t going right, despite believing for so long. I lost my faith, deciding not to think about it anymore. But once I let go of the anger and frustration, things eventually worked out. In hindsight, I wish I hadn’t given up. A couple of years ago, I made a note to myself to focus on rebuilding trust and love in my faith.

Today, Saturday went smoothly for the most part, though it took an unexpected turn toward the end. But hey, life is an adventure meant to be experienced to the fullest!

I spent most of the day indoors, on my laptop, tidying up the flat, and catching up with family over the phone. My brother’s wife is travelling overseas alone with their 1-year-old, so we’ve all been coordinating her trip and sending well wishes for smooth travels.

Later in the afternoon, my old friend Tomi, who I’ve known for 15 years, came by with his niece, who’s visiting from Hungary. I’ve heard about her for years but had never met her until today. She’s all grown up now, no longer the little girl I imagined from Tomi’s stories. She’s been here to study English for a couple of months and we have already helped find her a flat. Meeting her was such a delight for both of us—she even called me her “other uncle.” We hung out at my place for a while, had a few drinks and pastries, and then went for a walk. Soho was packed, and the weather was great. We ended up at GAY on Old Compton Street, where the music was right up her alley. She felt at ease, and we all danced to pop songs together.

3 things I felt grateful for today

• Grateful for how the day unfolded today with catching up with my mate.

• Grateful sis in law travel is all sorted.

• Grateful I wrote something and I can go to bed now for a bit.

What would it take for me and for you to wake up 10 x times bigger, thicker, more energetic, confident, happy, healthy, more inclined towards goals, make it workout in the morning, have a good workout, day to go fine, everything to be okay with family, friends and everyone around and then have a relaxing, relaxing, relaxing yet a productivey day tomorrow?

Goodnight, good luck!

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Goodnight, Goodluck!

Ash Khaleem