You are a product of your decisions!

🌈 1265 – Sunday, 08 September 2024 23:50

London

Guided by principles, routine, or just a craving… I’m yawning, ready for bed, but I can’t bring myself to sleep without writing something. I sat down, staring at the screen, unsure where to begin, only to get distracted by ghost reels on Instagram. Meanwhile, a single mosquito kept bothering me, relentlessly trying to land on my nose. No matter how much I shooed it away, it kept coming back. Strangely enough, as I watched those horror videos, I felt drawn to this fearless, almost possessed mosquito that refused to give up.

I set my phone aside, still in a state of wudu, and prayed my Isha salah. Returning to my desk to write, the mosquito reappeared. It’s rare to see insects inside homes in the UK, especially in a city like London. And with the windows shut at night, I can’t figure out how it even got in. How would I catch it and release it outside? My flatmate next door is probably pretending to sleep, and would wonder what I’m doing—chasing a mosquito, opening the window, and setting it free to continue its little adventure.

If you come back again, as you already have, I’ll have no choice but to act—though it’s the last thing I want to do. They say that giving and taking life is in God’s hands. But that raises the question: is there a God? Is there a ghost? And what’s the difference between the two? Why am I even pondering such things at this hour? Perhaps it’s only because this mosquito won’t leave me in peace.

Never mind! I woke up early today—Sunday, the final day of the weekend. Sat on the edge of the bed and meditated, repeating 35 affirmations for about 8 minutes. Outside, it was grey, cold, and wet, with mostly cloudy skies. The family WhatsApp group was quieter than usual, but I still said “Amen” to Dad’s morning prayer. It’s comforting to read something spiritual or connected to a higher power. It reminds us to look up to something, or someone, greater than ourselves—if that superior power exists, I can only hope so.

Got ready and left home, arriving at the gym around 10:30. Had a solid upper body workout: 4 sets of 10 reps of pull-ups on the bar, barbell bench presses, incline bench presses, lateral raises, front raises, dumbbell hammer curls, and bicep curls. Afterwards, I headed down for a shower but wasn’t impressed with the state of the bathroom—looks like the cleaners were off today, haha! As I was leaving, I stumbled upon an Apple Watch just lying there.

I was tempted to keep it, but something inside me reminded me that if I wore it, I’d always wonder who it belonged to. It deserved to go back to its owner. So, I took it upstairs to the gym’s front desk, though no one was there—hardly anyone around on a Sunday morning at Piccadilly. I left it on the desk, hoping that if the owner came looking for their lost watch, the staff could return it from lost property. My good deed for the day was done, I felt happy and relieved for not listening to the evil mind.

The Apple Watch reminded me of a dear friend from not too long ago, who always wore it even while he slept, as apple can track the sleeping pattern and style, . He was so fixated on tracking his sleep cycle, constantly counting how many hours of rest he got. I’d tell him, “Don’t check the time, and you won’t stress about not hitting eight hours,” but he couldn’t resist. It was amusing how seriously he took it, always making sure he was giving his body enough sleep. His little quirks never failed to make me smile, and now, he inspires me to write a poem for my friend.

Never mind the rambling flow, It was MT, my mate, you know. Who’d charge through tantrums, loud and wild, Now he’s gone, like a fleeting wind in flight..

One day, perhaps, when I reflect. I’ll trace the path of love, direct! That sweet, tender soul, so dear to me, Is it wrong to miss what used to be?

For all those friends who’ve slipped from sight, And those whose bond still feels just right. I send a whisper, soft and light, To kiss your cheek in dreams tonight.

3 things I felt grateful for today

• Grateful for the chocolate bar I had this afternoon—it satisfied my craving, though I felt a bit off afterwards, but hey, no regrets!

• Grateful for the walk I took during lunch, taking the stairs back up. The sun was shining, and I could feel its warmth on my face.

• Grateful for this Bluetooth speaker on my desk.

Around the world today –

• Russian drone crashes in NATA member Latvia while invading Ukraine. Russia give up!

• Iran sends Russia ballistic missiles despite US and EU warnings. Iran stop it!

• In London – Canary Wharf Tower is to be remade in a wildly ambitious renovation. Please don’t! and use the money towards helping people with the cost of living, they don’t need renovations to already existing buildings!!

What would it take for me and for you to wake up 10 x times bigger, thicker more energetic, confident, make it workout in the morning, get to work on time, have work go smoothly, and have everything be okay with family, friends and everyone around and then have a relaxing, relaxing, relaxing yet a productive day tomorrow?

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Goodnight, good luck!

Ash Khalaem