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Keep going I got you -GOD (If only)

🌈 891 – Sun 19 Feb 23:35 2023 


Did not want to sleep without writing anything.. thank you for the day at least I gave it all.

Woke up early, still dark, and grey outside just wanted to pee and get back to bed but felt like staying up always wanted to start early, and want to get back into the habit that used to be waking up super early in the morning. went into the kitchen, and looked at the time on the clock radio above the microwave in the window it said, 06:25.. felt good there is progress. Ate breakfast Tuna, Chickpeas.. 07:15 gone, wondered why time is running fast.. back to the bedroom sat meditated full 15 min on Changing beliefs Joe Dispenza, had slept on chase’s red t-shirt and mothers’ bought tracksuits bottoms, asked Siri who’s the weather, 11 degrees now and could get to 7 degrees later tonight.

Changed clothes to grey tracksuits bottoms, grey jumper, green jacket gloves left home got the bike out, got to the gym at 08:15.. did 5 x sets of 8 reps of Pull-ups, health, beauty, wealth, success, confidence, testosterone, growth hormone, symmetry, then did 4 sets of drop sets 8 reps of Shoulder Presses and then did shoulder sides 4 sets of drop set 8 reps and then 4 sets of Biceps on the machine drop set.. then finally 6 sets of 8 reps of Abs presses on my way out.. left for home, and got home at 08:49.. feeling so so sos os good.. said Amen to the dad’s message on Whatsapp.. then cut the Steak into smaller pieces and made fry and pasta was there added both heated ate..

Sat the desk, first did some work on the website, then did the research for the book’s chapter to start then 09:30 AM brother texted from Riyadh, he’s back to work first day after the holidays at his desk now at the office and everything is fine. He asked if I spoken to parents? I said why do you ask? did they say anything, he said no no, it’s Sunday you speak right? yes, that’s right, I will speak but they must be napping he said probably but try ringing it’s only 16:30 pm there in Hyderabad, I said okay I rang Mother she’s just woken up from the afternoon Nap at 4 pm sharp when the maid girl came and dad took her upstairs flat to do some cleaning, I controlled my laughter and she was too.


Put the headphones on, had the audiobook on audible of Michale gerbers Successful small businesses in the world.. browsing, browsing doing this and that.. 11:35 found me in the kitchen packing the bag quickly, left home at 12:10 Swim slot booked at the Vauxhall leisure center, got there 12:12 the barrier worked when I scanned the phone, I was happy. Sunday’s family sessions, swim for all… kids and families no lines to go straight up and down It was distracting so couldn’t stay long so left quickly after about 20 rows of front crawl.. had a shower, and from there went to Tesco Kennington lane, bought Tuna, Yogurt, rice, fig rolls, jam doughnuts, got home, offered 2 x Rakaths of Fajr Namaz, and then 4 x Rakaths of Zohar Namaz Farz.

Then made one more time the Steak into small piece, mix with Pasta sat ate watching the Netflix movie “As good as it can get”.. watched until close to 14:00 then still sat back at the desk until 16;30 and 17:08 Dad messaged goodnight on the group, I said goodnight but then deleted.. I didn’t want to message, then sat on the bed until 17:30 browsing, reading, writing doing this and that applied to Foxtons and the Charlton house..

At 18:00 took a nap on a short guided mediation Abundance, the alarm went off 18:45 work up sharp, was dark outside already, and seemed wet and cold.. got ready, said to myself “Kuch bhi nai samajh me aake running to jaaroo”.. wore black shorts, white full sleeve t-shirt, monkey cap, running shoes and left home..


Thinking.. mate Chase must be still partying, mate Jase must be falling asleep on the sofa with his pizza afterparty, mate Ali must be talking to someone about the bitcoins, Steff must be still getting pounded, mate steve must be in his car, frnd Sema must be with her new hubby on the sofa… and I have to go for this run.. but I do not understand “What to do?”

Ran Wandsworth Road, Nine Elms, and was feeling very very very good and energetic somehow, lot of people outside and live with lights, the weather had been mild.. ran over Vauxhall bridge, past Tate Britain, over Lambeth bridge, then Westminster bridge time was 20:00 on the bridge, took the turn around, down by Covid Hearts wall, then Albert embankment got home, ate soaked Almonds, then put the Rice on the cooker, then Chicken to make Khorma.. started tidying up the room until the food was cooked.. then sat down 21:30 eating watching the same rest of the Good as it gets a movie, 22:00 still eating, 22:20 movie finished, got up had the headphones on again finishing the audiobook also almost, checked clothes for tomorrow and the winner was blue trousers and white shirt with blue strips.. ironed the shirt and trousers,.. packed the bag, put the laptop in the bag, checked the id card.. inner, socks, gloves, and bike lights all in one place, sat down and Rupauls came in my mind, and I..

Fly, fly, fly, fly, uh oh, uh oh

Fly, fly, fly, fly, uh oh, uh oh

Fly, fly, fly, fly, uh oh, uh oh..


And if I fly, or if I fall

Least I can say, I gave it all

And if I fly, or if I fall

I’m on my way, I’m on my way


Fly, fly, fly, fly, uh oh, uh oh

Fly, fly, fly, fly, uh oh, uh oh

Fly, fly, fly, fly, uh oh, uh oh


Around the world – Russia still invading Ukraine, Russia stop and Turkey and Syria still digging people from the Earthquake. Sending some blessings their way.

3 things I felt grateful for today

* grateful for parents.

* grateful for the sleep which is coming now.

* grateful for the day and all the workouts

what would it take for me and for you to wake up 10 x times bigger, thicker, more active, wiser, happier, richer and a great first day of the week and the day to go well and everything to be just fine, make a lot of money and be relaxing, relaxing, relaxing yet a productive day tomorrow and all negative patterns in mind please get removed.. goodnight good luck, .. Ash