Normalize not telling everybody everything!

🌈 1324 – Thursday, 6 March 2025 23:26

Hyderabad

It’s a different kind of feeling tonight. I have got to head to bed soon, I’d be up in just a few hours for Suhoor – the pre-dawn meal for fasting. It’s already the sixth day of Ramadan, and after Suhoor, I have work to finish sitting down at my laptop at 7:30 AM, where I’d be glued to it until 9 AM. Then, at 10 AM tomorrow morning, I have got to leave with parents for my mom’s blood transfusion. Her hemoglobin levels had dropped to 7.7 after her seventh chemotherapy session.

A few minutes ago, I had a chat with my best friend, who’s away on a work trip in Berlin. He told me the weather there was around 13 degrees. We talked about my mom’s transfusion—he reassured me that while it might seem scary, the process was generally safe. Of course, as with anything medical, there could be complications, but he reminded me that doctors know what they’re doing. His words gave me a lot of comfort. He also told me to make sure my mom felt safe and calm, to remind her she was in good hands and surrounded by loved ones. And if she could manage it, to prepare her a good meal beforehand. That meant a lot to me. Not many people truly understand unless they’ve been through something similar.

I was about to write about the frustrating experience I had with the agency in London where I rented a place, but I decided to let it go. Some things just aren’t worth holding onto.

This morning, I woke up at 4:25 AM when my mom called me for Suhoor. My brother was visiting his in-laws, so I was the only one fasting at home. Both my parents are older—Dad has diabetes, and with Mom going through chemo, she can’t fast either. Still, she managed to wake up early and prepare food for me, just as she always has. She told me she first did this for her father and brothers growing up, then for my dad’s family after marriage, and now for my brother and me. I felt deeply grateful to be eating home-cooked food.

The day went smoothly, though my mom struggled when she woke up later. It had been two days since her last chemo session, and today, her hands and legs were in severe pain. She could barely move. Around 9:30 AM, I made her breakfast—some vegetables, carrot juice blended with rice, and yogurt—just something nourishing so she could take her medication. She was in too much pain, so I gave her an extra Ibuprofen. Eventually, she fell asleep when the pain eased a little.

13:30, I prayed Zohr at home alone, then spent the rest of the afternoon hanging around my mom, trying to make her laugh. She often drifts into memories from the past – I do my best to keep her mind occupied with lighter things. My brother was still at his in-laws’ place, waiting for updates. His wife, eight months pregnant, had a scan yesterday, and we were all excited. But honestly, it felt like too much was happening all at once.

At 17:15, I prayed Asar alone – Dad was too busy to join me.

By 17:35, I took Mom to a nearby clinic for her daily B12 injection. We got back home just in time for Iftar. My brother had returned by then with good news – the scan results for his wife looked great, and everything was going well. That was a relief. I quickly cut some fruits to prepare for Iftar.

At 18:20, we all sat around the table, said our dua, and broke our fast together.

At 18:40, Dad, my brother, and I prayed Maghrib Salah together.

By 19:10 PM, we ate our meal – Khana, Gosh ka Mitha Saalan, Kakadi Gosh, and Kairi-ke-Chutney. It was delicious, the kind of comforting meal that reminds you of home no matter how tough the day has been.

At 19:35 , I made coffee for all of us before heading out for Isha and Taraweeh prayers. My brother preferred the recitation at Ek-Minar, so he went there, while Dad and I went to Al-Aqsa – his favorite mosque. I wanted to spend time with him, so I went along.

Three things I felt grateful for today: Around the world today:

• War in Europe – Today Ukrainian urged Russia to demonstrate a commitment to peace by ceasing missile attacks and releasing Ukrainian prisoners of war. This appeal was made during an emergency EU summit in Brussels, where leaders agreed on a historic increase in defense spending, proposing a plan that could mobilize up to €800 billion for European defense capabilities.

• Today U.S. has requested Hamas release Israeli-American hostage as a gesture of goodwill in ongoing secret negotiations. In response, Hamas warned that Israeli hostages in Gaza could be killed if Israel escalates its military actions, as ceasefire negotiations falter and Hamas rejects US’s ultimatums. (Nypost)

• Advancement in Artifical Intellegence AI – US initiated an effort to cancel visas for foreign nationals who appear to support Hamas, utilizing AI-assisted social media scans, raising First Amendment concerns.

Three things I felt grateful for today:

• Grateful for loving and caring parents, siblings, and extended family – nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles. Having people who love you is everything.

• Grateful The convenience of having shops, food stores, and markets nearby, making life easier to manage.

• Grateful for the strength to get through difficult times. It feels overwhelming, but I know this too shall pass.

What would it take to wake up tomorrow feeling ten times stronger, more energetic, confident, and grateful? To start the day with a few pushups, a clear mind, and a sense of peace, knowing that everything with family and friends will be okay?

For now, all I can do is rest and reset.

Goodnight and good luck.

Ash Khaleem