Everyone’s fighting a battle. Just be nice to people for no reason!

🌈 1039 – Sat 16 Sep 23:33 2023

London

Just now realized it was Aunt’s birthday and I had forgotten to text.. have been feeling so moody lately.. tbh sat down to write now but for some reason just do not feel like writing anymore, life has become such a boring thing.. Nothing interesting, nothing exciting.

Woke up around 7:30.. bright and Sunny outside, sat at the edge of the bed and meditated for a few minutes, went to the kitchen downstairs, and ate breakfast Tuna, Oats, and 2 x bananas.. you say, you want to think about them but in a way, you’re still thinking about them and then you attract them. If only people could just mind their own business I think the world could be a bit better place, I exited the flats group WhatsApp chat to keep away from the drama, but you still attract for these people to come and stand right in front of your face, I quickly finished breakfast and came upstairs, did not feel like going back down around lunchtime no matter how hungry I felt, ate fruits, almonds, and other pleasantries this and that through the day.

I had gone to see a new place on Tuesday evening after work, I needed to respond to that agent if I was going to take the place, I had been thinking the past couple of days and didn’t know what to do tbh, to so had been thinking all day. 08:40 AM.. read the Dua-e-Istikhara and took a nap, as I woke up I was thinking of that guy who I saw in that flat when I went to see what was there in my thoughts.

09:30 AM spoke to mother, both parents are visiting our old house where we grew up and they are doing some renovations, Mother tried to tell me what exactly they were doing at the house but It was too painful for me and I said don’t tell me. don’t ruin my memories of growing up there and now you’re doing all the partitions to rent it out… it was too noisy there and we finished the call. I felt bad afterward..

I had a long and busy week submitting the meeting minutes so the room was a tip. I started tidying up for a few hours, then a break and a nap for the 2nd time Dua -e- Istikhara, this time I had a long weird dream, got up and carried on working until midday when brother rung and we had a long catch up, he’d been feeling queasy for a few days one thing after another wonder why! sending my love and blessings to him and all the people who aren’t feeling 100%.. What would it take for them all to feel good and wake up healthy, happy, and grateful tomorrow?

I told brother all that big weird dream that I had for the 2nd nap, how we were going on a boat which was not in the water but on the road, I was controlling the steering and he was seated next to me in the front, guiding, and a Jewish man in a small hat appeared on and off guiding us what to do.. we took a lunch break from the drive and this Jewish man took me to eat something, and there was food mother used to make when we were very young, we rode back behind brother was my sis, and 2 cousins, Tippu and Tannu were also there… we went on for a long-distance ride, it was smooth steering and at the end, there was mud and pit, I wouldn’t know how to stop this boat falling inside the pit but all I had to do was to put my feet down like the way I stop my bike and it stopped and we were all happy that we’re safe! and my alarm went off.

I didn’t eat the rest of the day but stayed up doing the work, and took a 3rd Nap from around 15:50 until 17:10 … Parents’ goodnight message was there on the group chat. 17:45 I got ready and went for a long run, went from Stockwell to Nine Elms, Vauxhall bridge, over Lambeth bridge, Westminster bridge, stopped at the butcher’s to get some meat but .. If you get regular customers, you should respect them more and build relationships not take them easily.. last time I told him to give me one meat and he was cutting another so I didn’t go there for some time, the time before he didn’t want to give a bag, how does he expect me to carry it home… this time I said give me the one without fat and he went inside and bought the special one with no mean on it but just fat.. looked like probably trying to get rid of that meat and it wasn’t even cheaper. I said no man, thanks very much, and went back to Sainsbury’s by the Nine Elms, the supermarket is way too expensive than normal butchers but what can we do.. bought a bunch of stuff and spent around £15.. walked back home by then the time was already 20:10.. Went downstairs and made dinner, these 2 flatmates were there, 2 brit guys having an adult conversation about work etc.. how much I want to be a part of them when we talk, there is usually, hi, how was your day? and that is all.. I wish you all the best, all the luck, all the fun and love of the planet to you guys if you think you’re better than me!

Around the world today and in the news –

• In another us inbreed XL bulldog attack in the UK, a man was killed after trying to save his mother from the attack. What must have gone through that mother! UK govt decided to ban all the bulldogs from the end of this year.

• Russia still invading Ukraine. Donetsk village is recaptured by Ukraine and it is taking back the territories occupied by Russia tree by the tree as they say in those words.

3 things I felt grateful for today

• Felt grateful after a long catch-up with brother about the plans that was making with the house.

• Felt grateful coming back from the run, 3 days in a row, the run went well.

• Feeling grateful I managed to finish the draft of whatever crap I’m writing and I can go to bed satisfied, if nothing else I wrote something. What would it take for me and for you to wake up 10 x times bigger, thicker, happier, more energetic, more confident have a good workout, and then have everything to be just fine and then have a relaxing, relaxing, relaxing, yet a productive day tomorrow and all negative patterns please get removed..

  Goodnight, Good luck!

  Ash