🌈 616 Wed 2 Feb 23:56 2022
London
Turned the radio on and it’s playing, if I lose myself, I lose it all.. Running, running.. running.. running.. Ain’t running’ from myself no more.. I’m ready to face it all…
So true.. I’m ready to face it all.. Because you have no choice but to live. stuck in the body, trying to figure out things each and every day
Woke up early.. but woke up so many times last night.. jumping in bed as if someone was pulling me up from the bed not just once but many times.. at one time, I kicked the laptop pad left next to the bed, I don’t know what time of the night it was but it made a huge noise falling on the wooden floor.
Allaha my kya karoon. but I woke very sharp this morning around 7:20.. was feeling good.
Got ready and went to the gym and had a really really really good workout. Did upper body again continuation from yesterday’s workout. Did 4 x sets of Dumbell bench press, 4 x sets of Incline bench press, Dumbell lateral raise, a drop set of shoulders on the machine and a drop set of Abs on the machine.. What would it take for me and for you to go to gym tomorrow and have another great workout?
Got home was at my desk by 9 am.. Logged in work sharp. I chaired the huddle at 10 AM. went really really good.
I feel like a big hole in the stomach right now. But it’s 00:44 so I better go to bed and not eat anything.
Went to swim also today at lunch time. Did up to 40 rows, there weren’t lot of people, as soon as I got into the water everyone left from that lane.. lol. I was happy .
Back to desk at 2:30 pm. Rest of the afternoon went well. Had been redacting a lot of docs.
Was chatting to mother around 16:30 pm.. Dads Aunty gone today from the planet. Since Covid started in last 2 years, Dad lost his brother, his sisters husband and today Aunt. A lot of people. It seems there is new strain of the Omicron variant today found and had been circulating in Africa, Europe again.. new.. a new one. What is wrong with all this and I can’t even sleep in peace.
Did not log off work unit 18:30. then was grinding for a bit and then took a nap was gonna go for a run after napped for about 30 min and didnt’ feel like going afterwards just made dinner and ate and now just chilling.. bed soon. Tomorrow 8 am work again.. Lets write a poem today.
I’m a goat, you’re a goat.
I’m a good goat. You’re a good goat.
We are goats and we are all good goats..
I’m not doing anything wrong to feel like a goat. I just want to live my life..
Take air inside my nose not feeling guilty. I’m sure goats are not feeling bad 24/7.
I’m sure goats mind is not rushing, hating, discriminating, judging.
I’m sure goats are not constantly trying to prove themselves, I’m here I’m here.. I’m working I’m working.. I’m alive.. Money come to me.. Money come to me.. Come and fuck me please.. Fuck fuck!
I’m sure goats have no ego, no unending unfulfilling hole of desire.
I’m a goat, you’re a goat… We are all good goats.
I’m a goat, you’re a goat. We are all good goats..
Mayahh.. Mayahh. Mayahh… !!!
3 things felt grateful for today
Night.. Sleep time. I don’t feel like leaving you and going to bed but sleep is coming and the clock is ticking and it will tick a few more times and 8 am work logging time comes..
Night, what would it take for me and for you to wake up 10 x times stronger, happier, richer, and bigger tomroorw?
Good night, Goodluck. Ash