🌈 1282 – Thursday, 26 September 2024 23:00
London
Over the past few days, I’ve tried to sit down and write, only to find myself lost in my thoughts. Before I knew it, an hour had slipped by. The next day, I sat down again but ended up scrolling through my phone. Another hour passed—12:30 am became 1:30 am—and I finally went to bed, not showing up for a world that doesn’t even exist.
Virgin Radio is playing the song Pretty Slowly… and my winter candles have arrived. I lit one, placing it beside my laptop on the white pad that rests on the white tablecloth of my desk. The candle’s flame flickers with a soft yellow glow, as beautiful as ever, drawing in everything it needs from the air. It feels warm and comforting, but I miss you deeply, my dear friend..
“Wherever you are, I hope you’re happy. As I eat this caramel muffin, I can’t help but think of you and how much you loved sweets. Your smile is etched in my memory, and today has been one of those days where it’s impossible not to think of you. I told myself I had goals when I let you go, but the truth is, I never wanted to hurt you. You were so tender, loving, and kind. I feared I couldn’t give that back, as I had no love to offer anyone. I wanted you to have the best life, far from my troubles, because you deserve the kind of love that only the best in this world receive. My dear, I tried to hold back, but I can’t stop expressing you in my writing. Goodbye, my love—wherever you are, just send me one of your sweet smiles, and I’ll feel it here, in the glow of this candlelight, as your smile is the memory I want to keep.”
Enough of my tantrums and emotional drama.
I woke up early after having a few strange dreams and an awkward night’s sleep, but somehow I felt active and alert. While still in bed, I read Dad’s good morning prayer message, followed by some affirmations. Then I sat at the edge of the bed and meditated, repeating 35 more affirmations. Today is Thursday, my office day, and all I could focus on was getting ready for work. I ended up skipping the gym when I noticed it was already 7:25.
I’m glad I picked out my clothes last night—today, I wore a blue checked shirt, blue khaki formal trousers, and a maroon jumper. It’s turned cold and wet in London, likely from heavy rain overnight, as the roads were slick and slippery. I left home at exactly 8:30, cycling from Piccadilly Circus to Westminster, passing by Horse Guards Parade. It took about five minutes to get to work, and I was pleasantly surprised to find no one else there yet, except for my early bird big boss and a lovely colleague.
The last boss came around my desk as no one else was there to have a quick chat which went pleasant, work started, went smoothly, quite a bit to do but it all went smoothly and great.
For lunch, I walked up to the Palace of Westminster and enjoyed a delicious, traditionally cooked fish pie, followed by a pineapple sponge pudding. Afterwards, I returned to my desk, attended a major meeting, and spent an hour manning a stall for the workplace equality network. The rest of the afternoon flew by, filled with new tasks and learnings. I left work right at 17:20, and it was already getting dark. In London, when winter begins, the days grow shorter quickly—it starts getting dark around 4 pm in midwinter. Even though it was only 5:30, it felt more like 7:30 pm. As I headed home, I had a strong urge to speak to my mother, so I called, but there was no answer.
While I was riding my bike home, she called me back. She had just finished her Isha prayer in Sajda. We talked for a little while, and it felt like she had been waiting, expecting one of us to call. She mentioned that my brother hadn’t phoned yet today, and probably my sister hadn’t either. We had a long catch-up conversation until I reached Trafalgar Square, where I said goodnight and continued my ride home.
I had a snack and watched TV for a bit. I had booked a swim session for 19:00, but at 18:30, it started pouring rain. I was relieved that I didn’t have to leave home and could skip the swim, but by 18:50, the rain cleared, and the sky brightened. I felt compelled to leave, worried that I’d spend the rest of the evening not doing much. So, I got dressed, packed my bag, and headed to the Marshall Street Leisure Centre in Soho for my swim.
I swam about 40 laps of front crawl, then headed home. I stopped by Starbucks on Wardour Street to grab some sandwiches and went straight back. As I ate while watching TV, I felt guilty for indulging in the bread-filled food and pastries from the surprise bag. I had a quick chat with my brother, who was coming home from the laundromat. Now, I’m sitting down to write. How was your day? Did you manage to get everything that you were planning to finish done?
What was the one thing you did today that made everything else feel unimportant?
3 things I felt grateful for today
I’m so grateful for my new bike; it rides so smoothly and quickly.
I’m also thankful that I called my mother towards the end of the day; it felt like she had been waiting for us at home.
I’m grateful that Dad shared some pictures in our WhatsApp group showing that he was featured in the newspaper today as a committee member involved in developments around my parents’ neighbourhood.
Around the rest of the world today –
World War 3 – Israel and Hamas – US, Europe and allies offer a plan to avert the Lebanon war. Bloomberg.
A 21-day ceasefire between Israel and Hezbollah is set to be implemented “in the coming hours” along the Israel-Lebanon border,
Russia broadens nuclear doctrine to counter Western ‘counter’ Telegraph.
What would it take for me and for you to wake up 10 x times bigger thicker, more energetic, confident, happy, grateful, healthy, wealthy, make it to the gym in the morning, have a good workout, log in work to go smoothly, everything to be okay with family, friends and everyone around then have a relaxing, relaxing, relaxing, yet a productive day tomorrow?
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Goodnight, good luck!
Ash Khaleem
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