Chapter 1 – Day In My Life.. 

Monday 07 Jan 2019

My day has been great, woke-up 4:40, did the content writing certification training until 6:30, at 6:31 sharp, Michael Sealey, Hypnotise Law of Attraction youtube video headphones on and I took nap. Woke-up 7:15, went into kitchen made chicken breast piece put into blender with some yogurt and half a avocado, shower, got to work at 8:15. Work was great, I was gonna see Shyla first time since holiday and last night I prepared what to say when I see her and Becca too, Becca’s one didn’t go as prepared but Shyla’s one went very elegantly. I am so happy and pleased.. 

 Around 11 am, funny energy, I found myself not speaking loud enough to Rose next to me, I quickly recognised went to bathroom and did my affirmation. “I am a dignified speaker, I speak confidently and authoritatively. I communicate loudly, clearly, effectively and efficiently.. I looked into my eyes and told myself. 

I made Rose laugh a couple times.. After work, I had to go to the clinic for an appointment, I was actually looking forward to go to that area because I find some Indian food around there in Whitechapel. And i need to get my phone cover and screen for my new iPhone 10 x, I walked into a little shop and asked how much would it cost for the screen, he was picking the screen then I asked do you phone cover, his colleague who looked doggy passed exact the one I was thinking of, I asked for a different colour but settled with black, when he was bringing the black I asked how much is it, he said  £6, all together £10. I asked, do you take card, he said cash only, cash machine’s in next door casino shop. I said please go ahead and I will bring the money. I went to bring the money, walking into a casino shop was a little funny. Hipstery/east londony/ black Girl at the counter was very polite and showed me where the Machine was. I was kinda freaking out while getting the cash out, damn I should have never left the phone. Oh dear God. Come on, they are not that bad. I don’t know… but deep down I know, nothings gonna happen. 

Went back to the shop, all done, seem like a scratch on the new cover. Wonder how he managed to do that while putting a new screen on my new phone.. lol I said it’s fine.. I got £10 out and he says it’s £16. I was like, no, you said all together £10. The doggy looking one was the one who said £6 when bringing the black phone cover if the cover was £6, the screen can’t be £10.  I kinda got into argument with him, some other dude next to us staring. I didn’t care, not a bad one just a couple back and forth, because I was sure, he said all together £10 that why I got out £30, so I can give £10 there and rest of £20 I was gonna eat the Indian food. Bless him! I feel sorry now. I apologies dude, I donno what you were trying to do but, I am sorry, if you needed that I should have given you that. I should have happily given you that. I have learnt a lesson there. 

This was even before my clinic appointment, waiting area, just when my name was called, a very beautiful looking pleasant doctor, she held the door for me, and this guy behind me. What is happening, I have been waiting for 50 minutes, this is second time I have been coming to this clinic this is stupid, I need to see a doctor. Her voice tumbled but she politely said you should speak to the reception. It was a little embarrassing to her, she had to kind warn the abuse to others, I moved a side because it was embarrassing. She came back to me, apologised and took me to a room. I apologised too and I apologised for the guy outside too.. She was very kind and polite, I tried to my best to cheer her up. Now I feel I should have said more but I did say, I hope that guy outside stay there for another 3 hours (It was very negative of me to say this – I acknowledge and Identify this thought and words out of my mouth), she said, he was suck phhh..  my god he was, ….  I said, he should be grateful, she said, oh thank you..   I should have said more to her.. she was a wonderful human being.. She is a Doctor. Like a Goddess who’s helping people heal, If not she’s a doctor, she is in the profession, or she a women or a human being ..and she had found her purpose in life providing value to the world in her way. Oh God! Bless her!!  

I was seen by a second doctor, wonder why just to give me medication, another pleasant lady. I left the clinic and went to eat the Indian restaurant which chapel, I tried quiet a few varieties but I missed home food. Took the Northern line back to Oval from Whitechapel, while I was waiting at the clinic, Liz, my flatmate messaged me the boiler has not come on at the timers time, It did play up with me last time too, I was a little blunt when I responded, I don’t like her usually poking into boiler things, a couple times times there was someone moving the timer around, and I had a feeling it was her. Then she was talking about some pressure issue too a few days ago but I love her, she’s one of the best flatmates I ve ever have. I said I will check when I get back home, she said what pain in the butt (boiler again), I didn’t respond to that for several minutes but later I said, hopefully by time I get home, it will all sort it self and I will be happy home. I did a tazvi of 1000 times a little Sura from my childhood, I used to love them. It’s a little verse from the Quran, these were like little little meditation tricks to achieve things. You can create kinda your own. So I said I will recite that 1000 times before I go home and It will all be good. 

On my Liz messaged emojies kinda mixed signs, on my way walking home, I told myself, whatever happens, right now is the moment I have, I just want to enjoy this moment walking, I want to say now and present, if I had to deal with the boiler then I shall deal with it when it get to it but now I am going to be here and now.. Attention Hear and Now, Attention Hear and Now. 

I took one by one step slowly coming upstair, and I am always grateful for have 3floors, I love taking stairs one step close to my fitness goal.. 

Came home, when straight to boiler, touched it, touched the radiator, back to room, couldn’t get out of the jacket, getting tighter, when I was going back to the kitchen, I heard the boiler go on.. I felt a sign of relief. I messaged liz, he is it on, earlier.. Liz came to kitchen and I said it came on, It just came on, the kitchen was very messy so I didn’t embrace my boiler working celebration instead focused on the messy kitchen.. = Failure “ I acknowledge this action, thought and everything in question” I came back to my room I kinda told myself not to but convinced myself I had to remind them of I will be bringing people to look at the spare room, please can you all keep it tidy. At the moment it looks a tip!   I actually wrote these words which I am not proud of, Yes I should have reminded them but I should have influenced or encouraged them to keep clean instead that a negative comment like that = Failure. “ I acknowledge this thought, action and everything in question”. 

7:30 Pm, Manual my friend near by, came to see me, usually comes over the weekend, just to chill for an hour or so. .Today he bought me a gift, absolutely unexpected, and I have been looking and waiting something similar like these and this was perfect, he got me a ear ring. Sweet of him, today I was actually thinking of giving him my old Iphone, he phone crashed for many months now and he couldn’t get an upgrade for some reason and he wouldn’t buy another phone, I offered him to buy mine but he felt like he didn’t to spend money. I didn’t realise it until now, as soon as I realised it, I kinda felt bad.. well my old phone, which my dad gave it back for me to probably sell. I gifted that to my dad a few years ago, he used it for 2 years and he keeps his phone absolutely new. And then he gave it back, it actually can’t be used with any other networks of India. So he gave it back, I needed to put that on eBay but I have never sold anything on eBay nor I can focus on spending time on it, so it’s been sitting in my desk for over a year now I guess. It was probably the first big thing that I every gave away, I kinda had to sit down for sometime, after I gave him. But I am glad he has it, he was using the crushed screen for months now. I acknowledge the feelings I had at that time. I would like my feelings to be joyous and happy next time when my new experience arrives because I love to give and I love to receive.. 

There was some song playing on Radio, Manual said about the name of the band which I had no idea, then he said it’s from the movie, the holiday. He said, did you see that, I Said I don’t thin I did.. he said, its the lady from Titanic, oh yes, I love her I said..   Actually, Yesterday I had my first movie night for myself and I struggled with what to watch and finally settled with backup plan of watching Downton Abbey episode 1.. Glad I did.. 

Manual said, The holidays is on Netflix, I turned the TV one, I searched for it, we started watching movie.. Oh my God. So beautiful movie..  I was exactly going crazy like that in my head. I could connect to both the girls life and they both touched me deep down.  I actually copied when Kate said these words, because I loved them so much

“I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible and how they can ache inside you didn’t know you have inside you.” 

I loved that movie, It finished at midnight, I quickly lit a candle on and settled for 15 minute Tazvi meditation. 

Everyday I lit a candle on to God, and sit down from 10 pm, first some affirmations, then reading a visualisation book or something to enrich my spiritual learning and whatever the time is until 11:30 I sit and meditate.. I love it so much. 

While I meditated, all my day reflected in my head.. Made me understand, the patters, my thoughts, my actions, my emotions, my response, my value. I am glad and grateful that I am getting a little mindful to understand and observe these. I just want to say I am grateful for all the experience of today. 

Whilst in meditation, I kinda understood the ways that I can make up with my faults of today, I wanted to go to loo, I heard Liz’s bf is going out to smoke, so she will be alone, on my way back, I knocked on the door and I said, hey Liz, I am sorry for making you feel uncomfortable earlier, you know, when it comes to boiler and things, I kinda freak out.. she said yes, me too..  then I was like should I tell Ash, or not, maybe yes, he needs to know.. Sorry for the false alarm.. I was like no, no I am sorry for making you feel uncomfortable.. lol, I heard Eliott coming in so, I donno why but I ran as if I was scared.. I am embarrassed about the comment I sent to flat this evening. I need to make up to that. 

It was almost, 12:40.. came to bed, turned the lights off got the phone, headphones, lay on the bed, all I could think was I need to write my day out. I have enjoyed so much of it.. and when I reflected back, I have enjoyed it even more.. and If I can help one person in any way with my little story that is all that matters to me.. Because I love you all.. 

What a day I had ey?

Right, 3 x grateful moments of my day. 

I am grateful to have my wonderful parents
I am grateful for my work 
and I am grateful for having this life.. 

3 x happy moments of the day. 

-I laughed and I made my Rose who sits next to me at work laugh. 

– I felt so happy while taking the stairs and I remembered the Power of Now book and I was observing those stairs. I felt so happy at that time. 

-I felt happy when I said something to Rose and Shyla from the other side of the desk was smiling in her screen. I felt it was happy there. 

 

1 x Act of kindness

– I said to Shyla, her hair looks great.. she smiled. 

 

 

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