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🌈 631 – Fri 18 Feb 23:50 2022


Woke up early. Last night, I jumped out of bed so many times. I don’t know whats in this new flat making me jump at nights.. Woo.www.oo.. spooky.. 1! woo… last night it was like horror movie. I would just get off the bed as if someone was pulling me up on it. so funny. I was like what? Ok lets pray now. and I’d start praying and then I fall a sleep and I wake up again in few min but I was feeling good all day.

Dad phoned at 6:20 AM.. woken me up. he said, oh you’re sleeping? ok, phone me back when you wake up. I phoned him back around 11 AM from my desk and we spoke for about 40 min. I told him about the plan to come home in March.. they are happy going to see my folks after 2 and half years since Covid.

It’s been really windy today, there was email from my office some head guy saying, Met weather alarm alert high winds and alerts. Never have I seen this strong wind in UK. the debris have I not seen ever either. All day I looked out of window and there wasn’t a single person outside.

Worked through all day and 5 pm I finished submitting the application for Oval kia HR position, it went well.. fingers crossed.

Anything you create, you either create it from the place of Love or from place of fear. I apply for a new job, I don’t know tbh, I’m requesting it out of Love for the job and profession or to satisfy my ego, yes I can do it too.. or see I can do it or see where I work? I really don’t know what my subconscious is thinking about it whether it wants it out of love or out of greed. but I send my regards and love to that person, who’s gonna get the job and who’s been creating it out of love and if it is me and I give my double love to myself.

5:30 already it got so dark outside and birds were out and the windy was still mad. I took a nap for 12 min alarm and the I changed to 15 more min made to 18:00 pm.. It was more dark outside and I was neither feeling like getting off the bed nor feeling like staying in bed.

I got off.. The weather felt extreme for me to go for run.. Should I go to gym, but this time gym will usually be busy but today’s wind maybe it won’t.. tbh I went last night I dont’ want to go this soon. then what will I do now?

Mother messaged at 4:50 pm and I had said, I cannot talk now, I’m trying to finish this application by 5pm. and they probably went to bed.

I had been on my desk all day, so I don’t want to sit on the desk, it’s too early to eat. and so what will I do now? is this what my life will be If I don’t marry? I finish work and then what will I do everyday in the single alone house? and wonder why I thinking like that today?

Anyway I didn’t wanna stay at home so I got ready and left home in the wind, went to gym, I thought doing something is better than doing nothing.. It felt like my hat was going to fly at one point and never have I felt this cold either for a long time. I usually don’t feel cold when I go out, usually with a number but today felt like Arctic.

Had a good workout surprisingly., and surprisingly the gym was busy in the wind.. and it was Friday evening after work, I think everyone thought like me that nobody will be there and everybody came.

I only did a few workouts 4 x sets of pullups, then Arms dumbells sitting stretch curls, and then 4 x sets of machine should presses and then 4 x drop sets of Abs on the machine.

I’m writing all these things for myself when I look back one day on my day! Go mind your your fucking business and do what you think is best for you and be happy and try to keep people around you happy and greedy fucking humans! Putin move back Now!

3 things I felt grateful for today

  • for time I set the time to finish the task by 5 pm and all I knew was I was going to submit it by then, I don’t know how i few threw was a miracle.
  • Grateful for the thought that just came in my mind reminding me of the time that I went to Venice with Tomi.
  • Grateful for saying a proper good night to my day and to the world.

What would it take for me and for you to wake up 10 x times stronger, happier and richer tomorrow and have a relaxing yet very very very productive day tomorrow?

Good Night, Goodluch.. Ash